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Abduction by Robin Cook
Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen
The Best First Book Ever by Richard Scarry
The Chatham School Affair by Thomas H. Cook
Condominium by John D. MacDonald
The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth
The Egyptologist by Arthur Phillips
Envy by Sandra Brown
Fondling Your Muse by John Warner
Forbidden Freedom by Cheddi Jagan
From Head to Toe by Eric Carle
Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Kingdom of Shadows by Alan Furst
The Lesson of the Master by Henry James
Little Polar Bear, Take Me Home! by Hans de Beer
The Magic of Encouragement by Stephanie Marston
Mantra and the Modern Man by Prabha Duneja
Marmalade's Yellow Leaf by Cindy Wheeler
Mortal Fear by Robin Cook
Mr. Meebles by Jack Kent
My Mortal Enemy by Willa Cather
Never Nosh a Matzo Ball by Sharon Kahn
Once Upon a Town by Bob Greene
One Duck Stuck by Phyllis Root
The Princess Goes West by Nan Ryan
Skye Cameron by Phyllis A. Whitney
A Wedding in December by Anita Shreve
Wish You Were Here by Rita Mae Brown
The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

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The Princess Goes West: 07/02/07

The Princess Goes West

I got The Princess Goes West from the defunct book relay site. The premise reminded me of Alias Jane Smith by Clarence Budington Kelland but the book fell far short of my expectations. The only really good thing about The Princess Goes West is it's length. It's thankfully short.

The book starts out as can be expected, introducing Princess Marlena (spoiled of course) and her kingdom of Hartz-Coburg (bankrupt of course). She must either remarry or travel to the United States (why here?) to solicit funds to save her country.

Meanwhile, there's a Texas Ranger in town who is a babe magnet and misogynist (every girl's dream) and he's been sent to bring in the notorious Queen of the Silver Dollar. She just happens to look exactly like Princess Marlena (down to the unexplained accent).

Cribbing now from Mark Twain (and many others), Ryan sets for a series of unexplained events that forces Marlena and Robbie to switch places. Of course, Marlena ends up in the Texas Ranger's custody! Hilarity and hot dusty cactusy sex ensues for every ten pages for the remainder of the book.

Since the dialogue is so full of cliches and the situation so preposterous I actually had more fun counting the pages between sex scenes than I did reading the book. It was a complete waste of about two hours of my life. I only kept reading it to see how bad it would get.

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